Ten Relationship Truths(We Often Forget)

Before we can have a successful relationship with

anyone else, we first need to be happy with ourselves.

~Andrew Parris

1. Take responsibility.

   

   
   

      We tend to push responsibility on to others, I think because it’s easier in our minds when something goes wrong. But it doesn’t really make things easier, does it? We’re responsible for ourselves, this is true in all parts of our lives, and that includes our relationships. If we want a happy and healthy relationship with someone else, then we first need to be happy with ourselves. I say this all the time but it seems to need repeating often as a reminder to myself, as well as to others.

      Happiness lives within us, it always has. No one else and no other object will BRING happiness to us, sure they may increase our happiness, but we have to tap into our own happiness first. And when we are in our own happy space we are most approachable anyway, if we are smiling then we are more welcoming. Once we tap in to our own happiness any “bumps in the road” that we may be experiencing in other areas of our lives, including our relationships, tend to correct themselves. (Check out Stumbling on Happiness.)

2. Work to maintain it.

      Feeling distant? Feeling the flame burning down? Like all things in life, relationships take work. We don’t drive our car for very long if we don’t maintain it, do we? Sharing our lives with one another is not always easy, we all have fears of being hurt. But sharing our lives, for starters, and then sharing even more of ourselves as time goes on is how we grow and nurture our relationships. If we want more out of a relationship then we will need to give more of ourself first. (Check out The Road Less Traveled.)

3. Letting go is okay.

      While it’s not always easy, letting go is okay. Sometimes we have to, if someone is bringing us down or mistreating us continually. Life is about being happy and being fulfilled, if someone isn’t helping us to feel this way then we’re honestly better off without them. We should never give up our own happiness in order to keep someone in our lives. Supporting one another and loving each other is an important part of being human after all.

NEW in The GiT Happy Shop!













Lots more to see at the shop!





4. Don’t push your way in.

      Yeah, I guess we all know this one but even I’ve fallen prey to it in my past. If someone isn’t willing to make time in their life for us, if they are not willing to put forth the effort to see how truly special we are, then it is their loss. We should never need to push our way in to someone’s life. Each of us is special, we all have our own uniqueness, but not every one is going to be willing to put forth the effort to see it.

5. Don’t try to change others.

      We all have tried this at one time or another, or at the very least in our minds we’ve wanted too, but we can not change others. The only person who can change YOU is YOU and that is the same for the other people in our lives as well. No, all we can do is tell someone about whatever is bothering us about them and who knows maybe they’ll try to change. It may be an annoying habit that is holding them back in more than one of their relationships, it’s always worth talking about. We can even lead by example, but at the end of the day we can never change someone else.

6. Tell them.

   
   
   

      We all need to feel needed, we need to feel loved, we need to know that we’re appreciated. These are all basic human needs, so tell the ones you love how you feel. Don’t take relationships for granted, show love and appreciation, we never know what we had until it’s gone. Realize that relationships take effort, the reward is love and it is most definitely worth it. I know that life has become rushed, I do, I get it. But please don’t rush off without giving of yourself first. Love is not a luxury, it is a basic need for our lives. A hug, a kind word, or a kiss will make all the difference in your day and theirs.




7. Be nice to each other.

      We have the opportunity every single day to improve our relationships. Say “please” and “thank you”, give hugs freely, and smile at one another. Over the course of an hour, a day, or even a lifetime, the little things truly do add up. I always say “Wear a smile, and share it with everyone you meet, as you go through your day. You honestly never know who’s day you just may change for the better and besides it makes YOU look great and feel amazing!”. Every small gesture of appreciation and affection matter, be nice to each other!

8. Everything changes.

      Humans appear to have a built-in resistance to change, I think it’s a safety feature. But a lot of the time fear of change and the unknown are a bit irrational, change isn’t always a bad thing. As we grow, mature, and life events happen to us… we too change. Life is ever evolving, everything changes.

      Someone telling us that we’ve changed isn’t always bad, it’s just part of life… We all change. Some people will be accepting of the changes in us and some will not, all we can do is keep moving forward. We should never try to be something or someone we’re not, so be you and do it with flair! (Check out Just Be Yourself.)

9. No screaming!

      No one ever truly wins when we allow arguments to get to the point of screaming at each other. Take a deep breath, end the argument, and go blow off some steam. Getting this upset is hard on you physically, mentally, and spiritually. Go for a walk or whatever it is that you need to do in order to calm down, return to the conversation when you BOTH feel you can discuss it calmly. Being mad at someone you truly love can tear you apart inside, burn off any anger immediately as it can have very negative effects on you and your relationship. (Check out The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)

The Tip Jar







   Enjoy my writing? Love our Happiness Community? Please consider using this Tip Jar to make a donation. Whatever you feel it’s worth to you, this site is user supported, any amount is helpful!

10. Your efforts will be rewarded.

       Last but certainly not least, in all relationships (most of the time) you get out of them what you put into them. Start by being what you seek, in other words if you seek love make sure YOU are someone lovable. Seeking friends? Yeah, you get the idea… Energy flows where attention goes, so if you put your attention on you being more of what you seek… What you seek will come to you. It really is that simple… and it works!

11. Learn Forgiveness

       This is one of the single most important aspects of maintaining a good relationship. We are people and we are capable of making mistakes. Most of these mistakes are nothing more than a compilation of our past, our upbringing, and damage that may have been done to us when we were young. But look into the heart of a person who has made a mistake or an injustice. Where are they now, what do they think about the mistake they made, what are they doing to correct it? No one is perfect and mistakes will be made, learn how to show compassion, understanding, and above all – forgiveness! (Addition by Weylin Doyle)